Choosing the right partner

What type are you attracted to? Do you like “bad” men? Are you a sucker for dominant women? Take some time to consider your type. Your choice of partner says a lot about yourself; a tremendous amount in fact. Strange perhaps, but why do you keep looking for someone to strengthen your self-image? Having a greater sense of self-value will mean you set higher demands of your (future) partner. If you consider yourself to be inferior, you will feel more attracted to someone who confirms those feelings. If you’re self-confident, you will probably feel more attracted to someone who is like you in terms of personality, intelligence and background. If you have the feeling that you’re somehow lacking, you will be inclined to look for someone who is your direct opposite; someone who complements you somehow. Birds of a feather flock together or opposites attract – these are two popular theories regarding our choice of partner In other words, we are either attracted to someone who is like us or in whom we recognise traits. I call that being homogamous. Alternatively, we may be heterogamous, which means we’re attracted to people with opposing traits from our own. Seen in this light, there’s no such thing as the wrong partner, because every partner is the right partner for you at the time, since you selected him or her yourself; someone suitable for you at the time. Differences ensure you never have to feel bored and can always be amazed at how different your partner is from you. The advantage of similarities, however, is that the chance of a sustainable, rewarding love relationship is increased.

Various studies have shown that love relationships between people who share many features in terms of lifestyle, physical attractiveness and intelligence are more successful and sustainable. As such, in searching for a partner, background and social milieu, educational level, ambitions, interests, standards and values, play an important role. On top of that, it is important that personalities are well-aligned. Personality traits need not necessarily be identical, but they must complement each other. The right combination leads to the right chemistry.

My advice in making the right choice:

Make characteristic features, living patterns and desires in a partner visible for yourself. This will deepen your understanding of who you are and what you’re looking for in love, and will lead to realistic expectations. It will assist you in the search for someone who is truly a good match for you.

If you have any question regarding finding the right partner, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

Let us invite you for a non-binding consultation.

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